This is for the "Saved Men" if any out there...?

Details only here: Married twice to same man, two beautiful children by spouse, all together we've been together for 15yrs give or take, we are friends or at least roommates (that what it feels like) we don't act like a married couple, we don't do the things most married couples do ( not even the things couples do period, he's is older by 9yrs, all we do is argue or debate; if we do talk, I was once in- love with him but now it's just a philia type of love not the Eros love there is no queasy stomachs and warm fuzzy feelings to strong sensual pion. We haven't been together in that special way in over 3 or 4 mos. ( not even sure I want to) and all he does is work, work ,work! I know he don't cheat physically but mentally he does. My question is: what I do or tell me his problem! The first marriage was not like this but now it is and Counseling is out of the question"he said".